Summer is here, and black is THE fashion colour to wear, but these are the trends I will NOT be wearing:
I’m sorry but beyond 50 sheer is not a good place to go to – bra straps, love handles and a tummy – nothing can be hidden in a sheer top, and any bit of you that doesn’t look good gets worse when you sit down.
One of the key looks this summer in shoes, how on earth can your feet be comfy and not sweaty when encased in anything plastic? And don’t start me on that scourge of foot fashion, the Croc, which now seems to have expanded into a dire range of plastic footwear. Each pair should come with a complimentary tube of athlete’s foot cream!
Then there is the Perspex bag – and boy, are they expensive! How come a piece of plastic can cost £’000’s?
Well, what can I say? Have you ever tried to iron a shirt festooned with ruffles? Time taken to iron one flouncy shirt equals time taken to do all the rest of the ironing put together. Also I think most ruffles just make you look fat, unless you are a size zero model, and are a terrible trap for crumbly canapes.
Dungarees and jumpsuits
What daft designer thought that one up? There is no-one who looks good in dungarees, other than Andy Pandy. They are gross, full stop. Whilst on the subject of trousers I would consign all baggy pyjama style and pleated trousers to my Room 101. They are just so unflattering, on everyone.
Heavily clashing prints
I must admit I am in two minds over this. The theory sounds great but the reality? Having just seen this “patterns in your face jacket” from Jaeger I’m not too sure. I just have a sneaky suspicion that anything multi patterned will stay firmly at the back of my wardrobe in favour of plain summery colours, and black of course!
Likewise florals – how many women do you know who look good in florals?
Open toed boots for summer?
We wait 6 months to get our loafers, strappy sandals and peep toed shoes out, and blow me, the fashion trend is open toed evening boots! Duh??
So that’s it. For me it will be a diet of no clashing colours, no frilly bits or floral prints, no Perspex shoes, and not a onesie in sight. This is definitely a summer to choose your trends carefully and avoid these fashion pitfalls.